Archive for November, 2012

What message are u passing over..

Posted: November 15, 2012 by Reach A Hand, Uganda in Uncategorized

Always Have A Back Friend….

Posted: November 12, 2012 by Reach A Hand, Uganda in Uncategorized

In Love with Someone with Hiv

Posted: November 12, 2012 by Reach A Hand, Uganda in Uncategorized

My boyfriend moved 12 hour away from me today.it so nice i am hoping to be with him and actually go with him to one of his Dr Appointment for the HIV. i am hoping to spend the Holiday break with him up in Kenya with him this year. we are planning on getting marry in a few years if everything works out.my dad made my life bad because of me wanting to be with my boyfriend but I can’t let him bring me down.HIV is not black or white it does not cure if you have kids or want kids. It doesn’t cure if your gay or not. It just wants a home to live.so why would i leave something i cant even see with my eyes without help of science. Keep me from being with the love of my life. I will be with Michael with or without the HIV. I love him & I want to do whatever it take to keep me from getting it but also keep him here with me forever.

Don’t Know How To Feel

Posted: November 12, 2012 by Reach A Hand, Uganda in Keep the promise 2012

I was diagnosed july 2012 two days after my birthday I have been dating my bf for 4 years now and about 9 months in his kids mother passed away with aids(they were neva actually together). Soon as news got out every1 called me right off the bat to let me know. I couldn’t reach my bf at the time because he was very sick in the hospital and wouldn’t answer the phone. At this time his youngest child was 6 so when i finally talked to him he said he had no idea and we both decided to get tested. Now up to this point we were using protection every time so I wasn’t too worried about myself. Of course my Dr called and said i was fine so i called and he said his Dr had called and said he was fine also. Yes i now no i should of demanded to see results but since my Dr told me over the phone I didn’t find it strange. Now fast forward to 2012 were still together and it’s been a long and very hard road. A lot of cheating and not knowing where he’s at stuff like that but i always stayed because this whole HIV thing lived in the back of my mind. A week before my 25th birthday (his 32) I decided to get tested and nothing could of prepared me for the results. At 25 I was HIV positive and couldn’t believe it. Of course he got tested an also is+ i know that somewhere in the back of my mind i knew it was possible but i chose to stay because i took his word for it. Now i wonder things like did he really ever get tested back in 2009 or did he lie…or did he know he had it or had he caught when he was cheating I’m still with him and feel like i have to be because I don’t think anyone else will ever love me but at the same time all the love i had for him is replaced with hate

Coping with HIV and other health Issues

Posted: November 12, 2012 by Reach A Hand, Uganda in Uncategorized

Today, I am a person living with many health issues. I also worry about the many obstacles that life has dealt me in the past and currently. I feel very deeply about my health, state of mind, and my outlook on life as I live it and see it.

I am HIV positive. I have known for about three years now, I also live with high blood pressure, anxiety, and depression. I am also in recovery from thirty plus years of drug and alcohol abuse. I have been drug and alcohol free for five years. Since then, I have found a better            way     of         living.
It takes a lot of will power just to get through each day. Most importantly, I have to listen to my psychologists, my physician, my friends at NA meetings, and those that have worked with others whom suffer from some of the issues that I face on a daily basis.

By utilizing the resources that are available to me, I have learned to deal with my issues head on. I also had to learn to deal with life as it comes and just take things one day at a time. It is not easy by any means. My health issues sometimes make the simple things in life harder to deal with.

I have had a lot of hurdles to cross in life. I am by no means better than anyone else, maybe not better, but certainly different…in so many ways! I am just a better person than what I use to be. In my opinion, anyone that wants to turn his or her life around can do so.

I could not do it alone. Every time I tried to deal with my issues alone, I failed. Each day, I continue to get support from those that love me and care about my well being. My road to recovery is not over; it will be a journey for the rest of my life.

I am looking forward to whatever challenges that life brings my way because; today I have faith in God! God had placed people in my life to help me get through my challenges. In turn, I have dedicated the rest of my life to reaching out to others in every way that I know how too. I think the best way for me to do that is by sharing my story with others. I also work daily at Heartland CARES, a non-profit, HIV clinic.

I don’t have all the answers and I am not a doctor but, as a person overcoming a lot of obstacles and stigma, I have compassion and feel that I can reach out to others.

 

Scared to talk

Posted: November 12, 2012 by Reach A Hand, Uganda in Uncategorized
I am very glad to know that there are people who talk about their status as if it’s nobody’s business, well I can’t do it. It’s been a year since I have discovered that I am HIV positive but my mom and dad do know that. I am very scared to talk about it. I went for the test alone after developing some swollen glands; the Dr told me that am positive. I couldn’t eat nor talk. I ask my boyfriend to go for a test but I was scared to tell him that am positive. I decided to take him with me so we can do the test together. He was negative and he told me that he still loves me but I couldn’t believe that since I was confused. He went back for the test after 3months and he was negative. I was really not comfortable with him around because it was hard to believe that he still loves me. After a week (from the 3months) he got a call from the Dr telling him that he is positive. Hey I freaked out because I couldn’t understand how come he is positive now. Knowing that he is positive he started to blame me of infecting him because I had told him that before he came I had a boyfriend not that he didn’t have girlfriends, he did but I am the one who was found positive first. He would just freak when he sees me saying hi to a guy. So I ended up not talking to guys. He would just get angry at me always. After 3months I asked him to go for another test, he didn’t want but he ended up going there only to find out that he is negative again (got tested by the same Dr). What happened really I do not know anyway I am so happy for him because now he doesn’t get angry at me anymore? He is happy, am not and I wish I can get some to talk to, someone who knows how I feel right now because my life is just sour. I have been trying to be happy, I go to work and come back home happy, I read books, watch movies but there is that emptiness inside me, I wish I can just sleep and wake up in the morning negative. I don’t have any symptoms which shows that am HIV, am even gaining weight a bit and I don’t take any medication. The only problem is am stressed out how can I fight it? Anyone who wants to send me an e-mail can just sent it so that we can just talk maybe I can be healed.

I am positive with HIV

Posted: November 12, 2012 by Reach A Hand, Uganda in Uncategorized
I am 19years old. I am positive with HIV. I got the virus 5 years ago. In my culture girls are supposed to get married as early as you begin periods. I was one of the lucky girls on our village to have gone to school before my parents forced me to marry an old man with ten wives. To my parents he was a rich man who could give them a cow in return for giving him wife. At the age of 12yrs, I got married. I didn’t know what to do with the man he was the age of my grandfather. My Aunties briefed me on how to please a man during sex. It was my first time to learn about sex because in Africa talking about sex is a taboo.
After a few weeks of marriage I felt too much pain especially in my private parts, my real mom died long ago and my stepmom with my dad didn’t want me to divorce despite the fact that I wasn’t happy. I told a friend about the problem and she offered to bring me some medication. When it was my turn to have sex with the old bitch I would give excuses and yet because I WAS A VIRGIN THE MAN PREFERED TO ALWAYS COME TO MY BEDROOM. It was a horrible experience that I decided to leave one day at midnight when the man insisted we should have sex and I had no interest at all.
And when I reached one of my Aunties place she agreed with me that the man was so old and I was so young. My Uncle in marriage agreed (husband to the kind Auntie) agreed to pay school fees for me because I was brilliant. I accepted to go back to school. When I turned 14yrs my uncle in marriage began asking for sex to which I refused because I had no interest in sex and besides he was my kind Aunties husband. But he one day raped me I feared to tell my Auntie because she could fire me out of her home and I didn’t have any where else to go.
A few months later my Auntie fell sick with all the symptoms of HIV/AIDS I was scared to death I took her to hospital and she tested HIV Positive. I looked after her until death and I DEFINATELY KNEW THAT I WAS ALSO HIV POSITIVE and it was true when I went for a test.
All my younger sisters who had visited that home had been used by this Auntie’s husband 2 of them have since died and the two of us are still surviving with the virus. We have tried to look for justice in the courts of law to arrest this man but because he is rich he bribes the courts of law and we are left to suffer with no money to even afford two meals a day.
My advice to all the youth and parents is if you’re still alive try not to allow any relatives in your home or allow a girl child to visit uncle’s because at times there a source of HIV/AIDS problem.